10 Are your legs tired? Cus you’ve been running through my mind all night.

The trick to this one is to say it all throaty and sexy. Like Barry White on roofies.

9 Is your father a thief? Cus he stole the stars from the sky and placed them in your eyes.

Dumb girls will take a good thirty seconds to understand this one. Smart girls will spray you with Mace. Go for the dumb girls. But I shouldn’t have to tell you this.

8 I may not be Fred Flintstone. But I can make your bed rock.

When you lay this clunker on a hottie who doesn’t remember the Flintstones, you know you’ve been at it too long. You’re 40. She was born in 1990. Call an escort service.

7 Do you want to see something swell?

The worst possible outcome? The young lady falls for this bit of crude wit but you’re so shocked at the success, ain’t nothing swelling at all down there. You can try countering with, “would you like to see something flaccid, instead?” but I’ve never known it to work.

6 I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

The good news: that brunette with the bright smile and shimmering hair fell for this line. But if she’s old enough to remember those vintage milk commercials, that smile is probably made of plaster and the hair is held in with bobby pins? Do you care? No, you don’t. Go get her, stud.

5Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

Again, either you’ll get a face full of Mace or you’ll go home with a broad who’s as desperate as you. Stop at the pharmacy for penicillin.

4Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

Is your package marked fragile? Because you’re about to get kicked in it.

3All those curves, and me with no brakes.

Oh yeah, Daddy-O. That’s smooth. To utter this correctly, you should have your shirt buttoned down to the naval, at least a pound of Brill Cream in your hair, and a toothpick jabbing from the corner of your mouth. It would also help to be at a truck stop.

2Is it hot in here or is it just you?

It’s a nice line, really. Conversational and tricky. If you examine it real close, you’ll see there is no correct way to answer the question. By the time she gets it figured out, you’ll be back in the living room eyeing her roomate.

1So... You think pro wrestling is fake? Or what?

Mock me if you want to. But I read this line in a book many years ago and got to work trying it out. The son-of-a-bitch works five out of ten times. The problem: most of the ladies it works on are earnestly interested in talking about rasslin.