10Ballcock

Shout it out at the Home Depot and not a person there can deem you a cad. As any plumbing expert will tell you, a ballcock is an essential device in flush toilets. Explain that to the horrified old lady in the store and she'll be sure to stop ramming that shopping cart into your essential device.

9Poop deck

One definition I get of this is "a weather deck on top of a poop." And the image of that makes me laugh so damn hard, I'm reluctant to pursue it. I suppose the logical thing to do is to look up a local seaman.

8Scrod

Simply a young Atlantic codfish or haddock. There is nothing dirty about this at all, though it sounds like a past-tense term for an involved sexual act. I order it as much as possible, though I don't care much for fish.

7Shuttlecock

Something you whack around in the backyard.

6Balzac

A 19th century playright, Balzac was regarded for his creation of richly textured, complex and morally ambiguous characters. That and a wicked funny name. The next time you're gazing lovingly into that special lady's eyes, tell her she makes you think of Balzac and pray she's a lit major.

5Rectify

To make tender love in the prison shower? No. To make right.

4Shank washer

More fun from the plumbing department, it's a vital part of any toilet. Next time you step out of your dear auntie's bathroom, tell her she badly needs one.

3Kumquat

Every consonant and every syllable in this simple noun is just filthy. I blush when I pass heaving mounds of them in the produce section. And so should you.

2Ballpeen

Nope. Nothing wrong here. Ballpeen describes a rigid and versatile tool whether you mean it dirty or perfectly clean.

1Masticate

To reduce to pulp by grinding or kneading in a steady and deliberate fashion. And that's the legitimate use of the word. I'm too clean-minded to present alternate versions.