One Hit Wonders
and when you should play them
10 Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
when you're really in the mood for David Bowie or Queen but you want chicks to think you're street. Early 90's, bad hair street, but street nonetheless.
9 Los Del Rio - Macarena
when you want to make it perfectly clear to that new girlfriend that you can't dance for shit and never will.
8 Soft Cell - Tainted Love
when you get to thinking about all of those tortured, junior high nights weeping at home alone over your acne cream.
7 A-Ha - Take On Me
when you've done something really, really bad, gotten away with it but feel you deserve punishment, anyway. If that really, really bad thing involved criminal activity, up the penance by watching the video.
6 Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy
never, no not ever, play, sing or think about this song. Because there's a chance that I might hear it again and then I'd have to kill you.
5 Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
when you feel like some creative editing. Why, just changing the second line of the chorus can make this a very different song. Go ahead and try it, you filthy, filthy boy.
4 Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out
whenever a dog escapes its leash and you want to show everyone how quick witted and topical you are. If you take it a step farther and include the "Whoo! Whoo!" part, someone should throw you into traffic.
3 Toni Basil - Mickey
when you want to buy a few more seconds on your next sexual romp. Because while a brown-eyed cheerleader in a tight fitting uniform should be sexy as hell, this one is about as sexy as Martin Short.
2 Nena - 99 Luftballons
when you want to make a political statement about the continuing threat of nuclear war but you don't know no big words or nuthin. If you want to impress that sexy foreign exchange student, by all means, crank the German version. Luft balons, Herr Studmuffin.
1 Gerardo - Rico Suave
when you want to sing at a party, but you're hammered and can't handle strings of more than four syllables. Here are two words that really can't be slurred beyond recognition and after that, all you have to do is groan a lot with a Spanish accent.